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Writer's pictureCarolyn Kincaid

Choose Love


I have a friend and mentor who often teaches by example. Judie has often shared with me how someone at work may not be carrying their load and instead of getting frustrated she takes a mental step back and just asks herself, "Is it truly any of my business?" We cannot control another's habits, work ethics, actions in any way. Nor is it our job to do so (well, unless we're the boss, but that's a whole 'nother critter entirely). What this makes me think about is why it bothers me in the first place. It's really all about me. It's how it affects my work load or my reputation or something else about ME.


It might be a family member's actions that bother me. Again, why? Again, it's all about me.


But this verse tells me that love is not self-seeking. It is NOT all about me. How do I reconcile this so I am acting in pure love? This has been a great eye-opener for me in the past year. When I get upset or frustrated no matter the reason I am teaching myself to take that mental step back and ask myself why. When I am able to see past all my pretenses I am then able to give the circumstance to God and to just love for the sake of love. It truly is a conscious effort, because loving in this way doesn't come naturally.


Look at it this way--when we enter the world as an infant we know nothing other than our own comfort. When we are hungry, we cry. When we need our diaper changed, we cry. When we just want to be picked up, we cry. Do you ever see an infant cry because mom didn't get enough sleep or because brother can't have the toy he wants or because brother took sister's toy? No, we come into this world self-seeking. That is all we know. But God does not intend for us to stay infants our whole life. That is how we mature into loving purely also.


Love is a choice, not a feeling. I may not feel like I want what's best for you over what's best for me, but I can choose it. I get to choose to be patient, to be kind. I get to choose to not act out of envy. I get to choose to not boast.


I get to choose to love.

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